you never seize to amaze mee..

when im sitting here content with my life and not thinking about you… finally got my shit back together, and then you go and do this? im so confused. i dont know if i want you back and if i should try or if i should just leave your friend request sitting there as i look and think about it for hours during the day. i love the power i have to reject or accept you like you had before but can this power be taken away in a blink of an eye like it was before? i just dont know what the fuck to do. i still fucking love you and would do anything for you. but is this just a friend request and thats it? or is this going to be a relationship again? will anything be changed if this were to be a relationship again. i just dont fucking know. i want to talk to you but i dont want to give you the power again and send me in a black whole that i was falling down when you did rip my soul away from my heart and my mind. i want you and our love back but is this too good to be true? what do i do? i needed you and you fucked me over. are you there for me now? are you a man now? have you changed? what the fuck is your reasoning for this? if this isnt a game and you are changed god so please help me and point me in your direction. i love you. i hate you. i envy you. i despise you. just love mee. just talk to me.